Puns intended

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck?: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."

On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tyre Retailer: "Invite us to your next blowout."

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcomed! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealer: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Radiator Specialist: "Best place in town to take a leak"